In the spirit of planning.

So if you avidly read my blog, hopefully you read it in order. Hopefully this doesn't strike you as random, as my previous post was also all about my freak planning tendencies.

Anywho. I just mentioned in my previous post about how I like to make lists, and all the things I want to list out at the moment.

One of the things I've been thinking a lot about is packing my bags for the hospital, as well as packing bags for my children to have ready if Mommy goes into labor at a random time. Which, is likely, since childbirth tends to be random and happen when you least expect it. However, I am seriously slacking this time because I'm pretty sure the last two times I had to rush off to the hospital I had been packed for at least a month. And the girls didn't even come until the day before their due dates, where as this baby feels like he's going to bust on out at any moment. 

So in the spirit of at least pretending like I'm not putting things off to the last minute, I'm going to do something fun. I'm going to take one of those lists that websites post saying "You will WANT these items, and possibly die without them" and I'm going to rip it to shreds. Fun, right? I think so. 

So here is my "abridged" version of those silly little lists, as well my thoughts on all the extra bull they insist you need. :) (This list comes from thebump.com's Pregnancy Checklist: Packing a Hospital Bag)

Must-Haves: 

[ ] Insurance info, hospital forms and birth plan (if you have one)  Ok, so I agree with the insurance info. However, since I never pre-register I know that you can fill out the hospital forms when you get there. Been there, done that. No Big Deal.

As for the birth plan? I laugh at anyone who has a birth plan. In fact, I'm pretty sure the nurses do too. If there is something that you are So Serious you want to happen (For example, I knew I wanted a mirror) all you have to do is tell your nurse. Stress it once, and if they forget casually remind them. No need to waste a bunch of paper printing off a birth plan that I GUARANTEE will not matter. Birth is unexpected, get over it.

[ ] 2-3 pairs of warm, nonskid socks that can get ruined (for walking the halls before and afterlabor) I don't know how many of you have been in labor at a hospital. But I know at my hospital there was no walking the halls before labor. I was in pain, and I didn't want anyone to see me in pain. So I got the epidural. Once that bad boy is in your spine, you're not going to be walking around much. If you wanna walk, stay at home as long as possible and skip the stupid socks. Cause you probably won't be walking the halls after labor either, I mean come on...

[ ] A warm robe or sweater you don’t mind sacrificing to the cause. Yeah, um, what person in their right mind wants to "sacrifice" something like a robe or a sweater to this situation? I don't know about you, but I've never been able to just buy a $5 robe that was actually comfy enough to want to wear, and I sure as hell won't be sacrificing anything I paid good money for. The hospital provides blankets and gowns for a reason people. 

[ ] 2 maternity bras -- no underwire -- and nursing pads (whether or not you plan to nurse, you’ll appreciate the support and leak-protection) Nothing to dissect on this one. It's legit. :)

[ ] Lip balm (hospitals are very dry) I don't know about hospitals being dry, I never needed chapstick for any reason, but if you like it, sure throw it on in there.

[ ] Toiletries and personal items -- hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, face wash, makeup (as if), shampoo, conditioner, lotion, contact lens case and solution (remember, travel-sized products are your friends) Now these I can understand. However, I was only in the hospital for 2.5 days. I took a shower before I went, and I only took ONE shower while I was there, and it didn't last long. I could barely stand, and had to have a nurse help me. So I just used the soaps they had there. Oral hygiene though, yeah bring your own. That takes up like, No Room in your bag, so why not.

[ ] Eyeglasses  Well, sure, if you need them.

[ ] Headband or ponytail holder (avoid clips -- they’ll probably poke you) Hmm, I'm not sure how this one worked out, because my hair is always in a ponytail, so I didn't have to pack extra. I used the ones I already had.

[ ] Sugar-free hard candy or lozenges to keep your mouth moist during labor (candy with sugar will make you thirsty) Skip this too. They aren't going to let you have them. I was allowed to have ice and that was about it.

[ ] Pen and paper Sure, if you don't have a smart phone. Or if no body around you has a smart phone. Or if you just like to write Every Last Detail. Now that I think about it, I'll probably have paper. 

[ ] Lots of change for the vending machines and non-perishable snacks (you’ll probably be hungry after labor, and the hospital cafeteria could be closed)  Only if you are in the middle of Podunk Nowhere. I mean, come on, there's gonna be something open nearby. My hospital is right by the busiest part of town, meaning there's every fast food joint imaginable, at least 20 gas stations, a mall, and a Walmart. Why pack snacks?

[ ] Cell phone and charger, phone numbers of people to call after birth, prepaid calling card (if your hospital doesn’t allow cell phones)  Ok, I am not sure what era these people are living in where their hospital doesn't allow cell phones, but sure, should you not be allowed to have the cellphone bring a prepaid calling card. Of course, most people probably won't answer because these days who answers a number they aren't familiar with?

[ ] Camera, film or extra memory card, battery or charger  Nothing to add. This is a given.

[ ] A gym bag packed with a change of clothes and basic hygiene products for your partner Yes, and no. Husband will most likely not be staying with me this time, so I won't be bringing much for him. However, I agree that you should think of your spouse. I did the last two times, because he was planning on staying there.

Take it or leave it:

[ ] Extra pillow (with a case that can get ruined, in a pattern distinguishable from hospital white) Again, why would you want to sacrifice something you like? I don't get it.

[ ] Comfortable going-home clothes in six-month maternity size and flat shoes (or, just wear the clothes you came in… sorry, but they’ll probably still fit) I wore my maternity clothes the whole time. Easy Cheesy.

[ ] Bath towel (the hospital will likely supply a small, very thin one)  Ok, remember what I said about the toiletries? Insert that here.

[ ] Hairdryer Sure if you can stand up long enough to dry your hair. If you even give a crap at this point.

[ ] Your favorite brand of soap, shampoo and heavy flow sanitary pads (the hospital supplies these things, but bring your own if you’re picky)  Why do they insist on this soap stuff? Am I the only woman in the world who loves to just use the freebies??

[ ] A few pairs of maternity underwear that can get ruined (the hospital will have disposable pairs, which some women find handy and others find gross) Personally, the mesh ones saved my life. You can barely feel them, which I think is pretty important after you push a baby out. Just saying.

[ ] A ruin-able nightgown (you can use those lovely hospital gowns, but your own might help you feel more human) I just don't get it..... Maybe for after labor. But I don't plan on having a whole lot, cause I'm gonna have enough laundry to do when I get home.

[ ] Breast pump, if you plan to use one The hospital generally  has one you can use. Take advantage of anything they offer.

[ ] Slippers that can get dirty I guess i just wear flip flops Every-Freaking-Where.

[ ] Very light reading (think mags and newspapers, not War and Peace) Yup. Just in case you aren't actually sleeping when you can, or oohing over that baby you just brought into the world.

[ ] Your MP3 (loaded with your favorite tunes, of course) Again, SMART PHONE?

[ ] Massage oil and tools like rolling pins or tennis balls, and lucky or inspirational objects (honestly, we doubt you'll use 'em…but feel free to prove us wrong!) Hey at least they admit this is ridiculous.

As for the next two sections, I agree completely. :)

Leave Home:

[ ] Any clothes or nighties you really like (they will get ruined) 

[ ] Stopwatch (your nurse or a monitor will take care of timing contractions)

What to Bring For Baby:

[ ] Approved car seat

[ ] A coming-home outfit

[ ] Warm blankets (for the ride home)

[ ] Outdoor gear like a snowsuit and hat, as seasonally appropriate (remember, babies are extra sensitive to cold)