You think Coffee wakes you up?

I am a coffee addict. Nothing makes me happier in the mornings than my cup of coffee with Cinnabon creamer, bringing the party in my mouth to the level of pure bliss. The Coffee motivates me. The Coffee energizes me. The Coffee wakes me up.
But I've found that some things work their magic a little bit better than coffee.
For example. Here's a list of things that get me moving faster than a strike of lightening during a heat storm:

Cold air. You want to make me move? Make the temperature of my bedroom -30* and I guarantee I'll be frantically running around getting the heat on and finding some clothes. Especially after a shower.

An alarm. Unlike Husband, I have no need for an alarm clock to wake me up for work. He does though. And I will tell you this, nothing makes me jump out of bed faster than a random alarm he forgot to turn off before leaving the house. Because his alarms reach a decibel that could wake Satan himself. (a.k.a. my children...Oh yeah, I went there.) If there is one thing you don't want to happen at 4:15 a.m., it's my children to wake up because they will Never Go Back To Sleep. EVER.

My children. Yeah, my children get me moving. Generally it involves some screeching, and some jumping on my bed and a chorus of "I'm hungry" wails echoing through the rooms of our home. Good morning Mama!

A dirty diaper. If you want me to get moving, place my youngest daughter in the doorway of my bedroom with a head full of bedhead and a diaper hanging to her knees. Because you know, if that thing touches the couch, there will be pee stains for decades...

Hunger. I get nauseously hungry whenever I'm pregnant or nursing. It can strike at any moment, but usually if it occurs, it is the first thing I'm suffering from when my eyes open in the morning. I have to eat, at that exact moment or I will most assuredly Die.

A crying child (or infant). If there are tears, someone needs Mama and if Mama does not answer the tears turn into a fit of fury and pure unfiltered Hell. Because someone hit someone, someone took something, and someone needs to be punished. In fact, this is 90% of the time when I wake up, because my girls never seem to both be in a good mood when they wake up.

But the big Kahuna. The mighty winner. The MOST EFFECTIVE way to wake this Mama up. A tactic I discovered only just this morning...

Spit up.

Oh yes, this morning, bright and early, before Monsters 1&2 had even aroused from their peaceful slumbers, Monster man spewed. A projectile of liquid right into my face, my chest, my hair and all over my bed. A mere two seconds before the explosion I had been deep asleep with him snuggled up next to me. But ladies and gents, the sudden drenching of hot liquid immediately followed by the cold sensation of the air hitting that hot liquid, well, let's just say It Will Make You Jump. Which I did. Then I stripped the wet clothes off, and instantly regretted it because I was met with Cold Air. Immediately following that action my oldest runs in and jumps on my bed, screeching about something her sister did. Who walked up to my doorway with a diaper to her knees. Plus, "Mama, we're hungry!!"  Needless to say, I've been up ever since.

After all that, it goes without saying that all I needed was some coffee. Sweet Bliss.