It's Not For Nothing.

I have to remind myself daily, Daily, DAILY that it is not for nothing that I do the things I do every day. Some days it is hard to remember, hard to push myself to keep going, and to follow through with my goals.

I suppose I can expand on what I am talking about.

I am a stay at home mom of three wonderful, beautiful, absolutely rotten Monsters. Every day is very much the same as the last. Get up, make breakfast (a.k.a. pour cereal in a bowl), clean the kitchen, vacuum the floors, mop if I didn't do so the day before, pick up toys and laundry, throw away trash, make a snack, fold laundry, put up laundry, make lunch, and so on and so on. Each night ends with Monster D crying and screaming until bedtime, which doesn't come until I myself go to bed. Each day is filled with breaking up fights, drying tears, dishing out discipline, playing with my kiddos and addressing the constant needs of each of them. 

It is repetitive. It is sometimes dull. Some days it is maddening.

But it is not for nothing. 

I know this because yesterday, when we all went out to eat for lunch, my Monster girls were polite, calm, and ate their food. They weren't running around, or jumping in their chairs (ok, maybe a little, but they ARE preschoolers.), they used inside voices and said "please" and "thank you" to our waitress. They did not whine, they did not complain over their vegetables, and Monster S was able to recite back to me why it is important to not be rude when we're in public. I was so impressed, and for a minute I thought to myself "This is it. This is why I do what I do Every Single Day.
Yesterday, I was That Mom that every other mother envies on a bad day. The one that we often think to ourselves, "How the hell does she do it???" I want to say it was just luck, but really it's just that finally I have found a method that works with my girls. 

It was not always this way. I used to get irritated over the incessant "Why do I have to?"s and the "I don't wanna"s and even the "You can't make me"s. Let me tell you, I have learned a lot in the past year that I've been staying at home with my children. I have discovered that the older they get, the easier it is to explain to them why things are the way they are. When Monster S asks me why we have to do things, I tell her. No more of this "Because I said so" BS. I actually tell her why I do what I do. 

Monster S like to ask me all kinds of questions. "Mama, if I do this, am I showing respect?" "Mama, if I do this, am I being bossy?" "Mama, if I do this, is it nice or is it mean?"

How simply wonderful it is to watch my child learn the difference between right and wrong. To say "sir" and "m'am". To show respect. To repeat to other people why she likes to be good.

Of course, now it sounds like my girls are little robots. I swear they're not. They are just a product of my everyday frustrations and struggles. They are a product of their Mama learning things too. Like how to control my temper. That no matter how boring and repetitive cleaning and laundry is, it has to be done. That I am the example for my children, and I want them to grow up with kind hearts, and a clear conscious. Obviously there are many things that they will have to learn on their own, and many mistakes they'll have to make. But in the long run, I want them to want to be just like me, so I remind myself that it is not for nothing that I do what I do. It is important. It is vital for them to learn that even Mommy's work hard, and that everything I do is for them. It is everything.

Even if I don't always smile while I do it.