Today started nothing like it normally would. At 12 a.m. I was sitting up chatting on the phone with my Mumsie, and I was in a delightful, chatter-box kind of mood. I actually closed my eyes to sleep at about, oh I don't know, 1:30a.m.? Still in a good mood, and just tired enough to fall asleep when I closed my eyes. I would have gone to bed much sooner if I had known what I was going to wake up to.
6:30a.m. rolled around, and I awoke to a God Awful Sound. The dog was whimpering and whining to be let out. Highly unusual as my dog has been kennel trained for almost 2 years, and is on a schedule of being let out at approximately 9:30 every morning. So I got out of bed, flipped on the hallway light, and oh boy did the profanities start. My dog had pooped everywhere. And not the kind of poop that you expect to see when your dog has an accident. The runny kind that just goes everywhere. Clearly she had tried to hold it in, and couldn't. To top it off, since I apparently strike fear into the hearts of lovable creatures everywhere, she was terrified of how I would react. Not surprising as I merely tolerate the animals in my house, while the rest of my family adores them. Of course, I was pissed, but not at her specifically. I knew it was an accident. Clearly she cannot tell the difference between pissed at the situation and pissed at HER, because she immediately started peeing uncontrollably as soon as I stepped into the hall. And this only made me even more mad. Again, not at her, but at the situation. Because guess who had to clean it up. Me of course, because Husband was not home to take care of his dog, he was at work. (Which, he planned I'm Sure, because he should be psychic and know that his dog would do this!)
Anywho, I let the dog outside where she began to frolic in the rain. She had managed somehow to not step in a single ounce of her widespread mess, thank goodness. As she pranced around outside, I ended up on my hands and knees at 6:30 in the morning, cursing and mutter under my breath (all the while pretending that my anger wouldn't possibly be loud enough to wake the kids, Yeah Right!) about the stupid dog, her stupid mess, and this stupid, stupid day. It took thirty minutes, an entire roll of paper towels, and a good portion of my bottle of 409 to get it all up. Meanwhile my hallway smelled like...dog feces. Deeee-lightful. This, of course, had to be what woke up Monster S from a dead sleep (because my cursing wasn't loud, I'm telling you I can mutter like a boss!) and she came out to see what was going on. At which point I was snapping at her to get back in bed, because it's still sleep time, to which she replied "Well then why are you awake?" Ok, smart aleck, touche. But she got back in bed. After a good ten minutes of hand washing, so did I.
Next thing I know, the baby is awake. Right as I'm about to curl up under the blankets again, I see that Declan has blown out his diaper all over his favorite snuggle blanket. Monster Mama-0/Life-2.
Eventually we are all asleep again, and I'm laying there with a crick in my neck from laying next to the baby. I reach up to grab my phone and find the following text message from Husband "Our computer either has a virus or it has been hacked."
Oh Heck No. Somebody thinks they are funny. Sure enough I get to the computer and find it at the start up screen where you can log on to your user. We have never had a password to get in to our computer. I started frantically typing password after password, only to click on the "Password Hint" button. It was taunting me with this message: "You ain't gettin' in sucka!" So not only was the hacker unable to use proper English or spelling, they called me a sucker, which I obviously was for continuing to attempt to log on even after Husband told me it had been hacked.
My day did not get much better friends. In fact, everything from that point on Pissed Me Off. Everything and Everyone. Except a handful of people who very rarely make me mad.
And apparently this day didn't just suck for me. Husband and our besties all suffered as well. So this day shall go down in history as on of the crappiest days yet for our little foursome.
And apparently this day didn't just suck for me. Husband and our besties all suffered as well. So this day shall go down in history as on of the crappiest days yet for our little foursome.
To end, I'd like to share a humorous story about my Monsters.
Driving home yesterday from the store, we passed Girl Scouts selling their cookies. One cannot pass up Girl Scout cookies when one has the money to purchase them. So we stopped, and we grabbed 4 boxes (yeah, yeah we're fatties). As Husband gets back in the car and hands me the boxes, I go to open my Thin Mints. Husband looks at me as I attempt to quietly peel back the cardboard flap, and says "You know as soon as you open that box up, the vultures will know." I make a face that says "Psh whatever" and I peel back the flap. My fingers brush the plastic wrapping that is encasing my delicious cookies, and suddenly the car goes quiet. Deathly still friends. I hear a sniff, and some movement from the backseat. Next thing I know Monster S's voice is right beside my ear saying "What do you have Mommy? What are you opening, can I have some?" My eyes meet Husbands and immediately I am afraid we will crash the car, as we are both laughing hysterically alongside the chorus of "GIVE ME SOME!"s coming from the Monsters in the back. It was so innocent, such a perfect moment of awesome timing on Monster S's part, that I am smiling even now thinking about it.
Children are delightful, ladies and gents. As frustrating as they are on the bad days, it is moments like that one, in the car with my Monster Family, that makes me love my life so much more.
It is moments like that, that I want to always remember. I'm back with a vengeance, ready to chronicle my latest adventures of children, organizing my house, and hopefully soon, my success with couponing and sewing! Stay tuned for more excerpts from my crazy little life!
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