3 months from now I will be turning 23 years old. I never imagined my life at this age, except that I would married and working full time after graduating college. That's certainly not how it turned out, and I am supremely glad for it!
However, at 23 I feel vastly older than many of the people I went to high school with. Most of my closest friends chose the other path. I find myself slightly jealous of their ability to go to parties, hang out late, and in general ACT like a 23 year old. Because here I am, pregnant with baby number 3 knowing that when he arrives I'll be getting my tubes tied and the baby phase of my life will be close to over before so many have fully started! I am eager to have that accomplishment under my belt. Because in my way of living it is an accomplishment to be raising my beautiful, endearing, yet oh so rotten children. It is hard, though, knowing that the reason I drifted apart from so many of my friends was because they didn't grasp the reality of my life. Eventually the invitations to hang out stopped coming, and the role as stay at home mother became more and more lonely.
Now, 5 years after my life like this began, I am eagerly setting out to make sure I do not become overly drawn into not having a life outside of my children. It is starting to make me feel old to know that the majority of my days are spent incubating a new life, cleaning, cooking and then cleaning up again after the cooking. Of course, you also have to add in the mix the exorbitant amount of time spent watching movies and t.v....
Ah yes I am much to young to feel this dang old.
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