Why I don't believe half of what I see on Facebook.

Social networking is, at its best, a prime example for misrepresentation. You only see the good pictures, (you know the ones where the profile owner DOESN'T look fat...) you see thousands of adorable kids pictures (you know, the ones where they are grinning and happy with melty ice cream in their hands instead of the ones where they are on the floor half naked screaming bloody murder as you stand over them literally pulling your hair out.), and generally you only hear about the negative going on in someone's life if it is not too personal and requires offering condolences.

See, I do not buy into the social networking bullshit. Not one mother out there loves to be a mother every single second of the day. Unless of course I am alone in this boat, and if so, stop reading now before you get the idea that I'm a horrible individual. See, I reached the point of motherhood where my kids aren't just sitting there on the floor grinning a drooly little grin surrounded by their toys. They aren't always cute and snuggly. They are no longer precious both asleep AND awake. Usually it is only when they are sleeping. However, even then they are sometimes a hot mess.
I also do not believe that anyone looks the way they are presented in their profile picture. Heck, I look damn cute in mine, holding my sweet Monster man up next to me. Let me assure you, I only look like that 2% of the time. and 50% of that 2% is for mere minutes, just long enough to update my profile picture. I've deceived you into thinking that I'm THAT adorable, All The Time. Not true. My favorite outfit consists of some sweatpants, and an over sized t-shirt. I wear that most days. O.K. I wear that EVERY day. I only get dressed if I am going out in public or have friends coming over. And sometimes, I am that mom in Walmart who is wearing yesterdays yoga pants. But you would never know that based off my Facebook page. Because it is all lies!
Ok, not lies. It is all half truths, how about that. Sure you may actually do the things you say you do, but it is not all you do. Because thank God, most people do not update their status every five minutes. Some people do, but hey, that's what the "Unsubscribe" button is for.
And on the note of the "unsubscribe" button. Thank you, lovely Facebook gods who invented that button. Thank You for eliminating the unnecessary drama of deciding a few months later that you don't actually want to be friends with the person whose friend request you accepted. Thank You for understanding that families do not have to be torn apart by the ridiculous notion that they have to be friends with each other.
Anyway, I digress. Basically what I'm saying is, to all of you out there who want the rest of us to believe that you are a perfect individual, perfect mother, perfect friend; I know the truth. Because in the end we all misrepresent ourselves to look like better human beings than we actually are. It is part of the circle of life. Or the circle of judgement, whatever. I know that you aren't perfect. I know that you, just like myself, lose your cool and even, heaven help us, yell at your kids on a occasion. I know that you don't always want to soothe every tear your child cries (or maybe you do, because your child is not yet at the age of misbehaving, or hasn't suffered from some miserable form of colic....props, you got lucky). I know that sometimes you lock yourself in the bathroom because you Just Can't Take It. I know that you don't want anyone to know that you do, because your B.E.C. is a Judgy McJudgster and will let you know that there are alternatives to your parenting techniques.

You are not alone. Deep down we're all Facebook Liars. From now on I am taking a stand. I vow to let you in on the good AND the bad AND the ugly. I refuse to judge your bad day. Your messy house. Your unwashed hair. Your kid's fit. The manic look in eyes. And I refuse to let anyone treat me like they are better than me, because their so called lives are perfect.
So if you are a Facebook liar with half truths, and messy houses or rotten children, you can sit by me. :)