Whoa.

Let me first start this post by saying "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY HUBBY!" He is 26 today and unfortunately has to spend the day at work. But that's OK because we celebrated last night with pizza, ice cream sandwiches and birthday cards. While this may seem simplistic, I think that we as parents of Monsters get more joy out of seeing their chubby little legs running to us screaming "Surprises!" than we do out of birthday presents. Besides, Daddy got his own special ice cream in the form of Reese's Klondike bars that under no uncertain terms can anyone but Daddy touch. Which of course make the monsters want them even more, putting me on my guard whenever I hear the refrigerator rustles...

I'm suffering through miserably on my desktop/laptop makeshift setup because something has gone horribly wrong with the desktop computer, and our laptop has no screen on the monitor. the solution? The laptop being plugged to the desktop monitor enabling me to use the computer as I wish but having to turn at a slightly odd angle to get to the laptop to type. This will not stop me from my quest of blogging, but it might just stop me from having my vocabulary spelled correctly. Also it is giving me a slight crick in the neck. Dedication my friends, dedication to these words which you read.

Although I can't say that not having a computer all day yesterday was so bad. It inspired me to occupy myself with other things, including scrubbing and cleaning the house. Not only did we want the house to be clean when Daddy came home, the monsters and I decided that we had nothing better to do. The toys were picked up and put away, the laundry was washed and dried (folding is out of my expertise unless I just get way tired of looking at mounds of clean clothes on my chair), we did dishes, wiped down counters, fed the animals and scrubbed the floors. A busy day for us, since generally we only do one or two of these things and call it a success.

My monsters even took a nap yesterday with very little fight. Which means they went to bed late. Slept in late. Now, they are fighting nap time, an hour after it was supposed to have started. I'm listening to the delightful screams of Monster 2 as she is no doubt being tickled and babied by her big sister. They do this now that they can both climb out of their beds together. They play and fight and giggle. Normally this would be music to Mommy's ears, but when the crying out weighs the giggles I have to step in. I do not like having to fight at nap time. Why? Because I am already the bad guy. In the good cop bad cop game of parenting, I'm bad cop, all day, every day. That's not to say that my hubby is not a disciplinarian, because for sure he is. I just have the image of being too strict and too hard on my children. Of all of the relatives, I'm the meanest when it comes to what my kids can and cannot do, and how they get punished for misbehaving. I'm not sure if this is good or bad, because to be honest I don't think I'm strict enough. I've talked to my mom about how my sister and I acted at these ages, and the reply is usually the same as my thought process. We were not allowed to act the way my children act. My dad did not tolerate it. You know what? I think that I no longer tolerate it either.

This mama is taking a stand against my children's bad behavior, no matter what everyone else thinks. I've decided it's high time to take responsibility for my girls, and how they treat other people. Yes ma'am, yes sir kind of stuff. Please and thank you have taken priority number one. Time outs and spankings? My kind of punishment. I've recently even discovered on particular method that my daughters do respond to. Being forced to sit in their room. They hate it. Despise it. Since they can't get out (as the locks are on the outside of the doors for our children's room) they also can do nothing but scream and bang on the door until time out is over.

Now, this may sound harsh, and some of you may even think it dangerous. Let me assure you it is not. My oldest Monster is almost 4 (in two months time, oh my goodness!!) and she is a wild child. She doesn't respond to punishment the way some kids do. It doesn't scare her, it doesn't hurt her feelings, and it sure as hell doesn't work. But when this darling little creature is fighting back with me (and boy is she strong!) there is only one solution. Separation. I must separate her and myself. Without handcuffs, timeout doesn't generally hold her. So one day out of sheer frustration, I set her on her bed, walked out of the room, and locked the door. Don't get me wrong, it was hard to listen to her screaming and pleading to be let out, but I had to be strong. She doesn't like to be ignored, so naturally when I ignore her, it gets her attention. After much consideration (OK, a little heartbreak on my end) I opened her door and asked if I could talk to her about what she had done. Things as small as her telling me "No." escalate to a high energy point where both of us are screaming and running from each other. So for me to ask her if I could talk to her after traumatizing her, well, I think it caught her off guard. Yet, she still said No. She would not talk. So I did the only thing I could. I stood up, turned away, then said "OK, well I guess I'll have to shut and lock your door again..." 

I've never seen her move so fast. She shot straight up and exclaimed loudly that "It's OK, I'm ready to talk now." My sweet little girl has a craving for attention, and apparently not getting it is the best punishment I could have ever dreamed up for her. Does this make me a mean mommy? I sure hope so, because it seems that is the only way to get my girls to realize I mean business.

Today, after a near 2 1/2 hour battle over taking a nap (if you're paying attention, you'll realize that two paragraphs ago, it had only been hour. Such is the way my attempt at writing has gone.) I think both my girls are falling asleep. I think the fight exhausted them. I have won the battle for today, and my household is eerily quiet sans the noise of my fingers tapping against the keys, and the ticking of my clock. A sound I rarely even hear. I love my little ticking clock, especially if I can actually hear it. Sweet sweet bliss. Will we survive the cranky post nap hour? After today I'm not sure. My poor hubby may be watching the Monsters on his birthday, because I'm not sure I can take anymore...

Ah life. It's only going to get crazier.