Why I suck at blogging.

Friends, I must admit to you that I have been lying to you. I am never going to keep up with this blog the way that I want to, no matter how many times I tell you "I'm back, this time for real!". It's just not accurate anymore. Because no matter how hard I try, every time I sit at this desk and think "This is it, now I'm feeling it.", something interrupts me (*cough* my obnoxious children *cough*) or I get distracted by something that needs to be cleaned (i.e. the fingerprint smudges on the window in front of me, Dear God when did I last wipe that thing down???) or I sit and stare at my screen trying to think of something witty and clever to write, and instead it ends up being a freaking novel about everything going on in my life. Which, is, after all, pretty awesome because Hello, it's my life. But there are only so many times I can begin my dive back into writing with updates about what my Monsters are doing these days. Let's face it, real talk, I cannot focus on anything other than what my kids are doing 24/7. 

The list that shall never be.

Which has led me to a fairly depressing realization. I do not exist outside of my children, outside of my motherly duties. I don't remember if I am actually a productive member of society, or if I'm just faking it so you'll think there's something deeper and more meaningful about me than the stain on my shirt caused by the baby throwing his spoon at me. I'm here to tell you, there isn't much else to me. I cook (sometimes), I clean (or try to), and I haul my children around from activity to activity (read, drag them with me while I run errands). 

I made of list of ideas for blog posts. What can I write about that is inspiring and thought provoking? Here's my list:

Doesn't it look great? It looks like I was on a roll with ideas and everything. Well, here's the reality of it. That list is going to sit there, and probably never turn into anything. You know what my problem is? I want to write all of these posts right this second and then publish them all for you to read right now. But then what will I do next week when I'm staring out my grubby window, watching a squirrel jumping around my yard instead of writing?

Perhaps I'll be able to resist the temptation of multiple post publishing, and I can do it in intervals. But then I'd still feel like a liar, because you might think I'm devoting more time to this than I am. Or that I've somehow got my groove back, when in reality I just don't feel like cleaning today and I'm procrastinating by writing. 

We shall see friends. Be on the look out, maybe I might have some follow through today. Be warned though, if my writing is anything like my parenting, I suck at follow through. Ask my 3 year old who is watching yet another Elmo movie, because Mommy didn't want to listen to her throw a fit after I said no 5 times.