The Evolution of the Thoughts in My Brain

So I was on the phone with my sister in law (aka the only friend I actually have and talk to every day), and I kept saying over and over, "B, I just can't take it. I can't take my children crying for one more second or I might physically pull every last strand of my own hair out. JUST so I can do something fun!" and she was right there with me. Except, her kids were already off to school so in reality, what she couldn't take was listening to her dog whine. Hey, same thing right? Kids, dogs, they both have to be trained, and most of the time neither one actually shuts up. So here we were both ready to inflict torture upon ourselves just so we knew we hadn't died of bleeding ears, and I thought to myself, "I could make a blog post out of this." If you saw my previous post, you might have also seen my idea list. A few that were birthed out of the lustful desire for peace and quiet were as follows:

What to do When Your Child Won't Stop Throwing Fits- Now as much as I would love to write all about this, that post would be more along the lines of "Hey if anyone knows how the hell to shut my kids up, let me know!". So I decided now Might Not be the time for that particular post. I'd rather it be a little more verbose.

If I Had Free Time-Let's face it, I can sum this one up in one word. Sleep. Because I have demon children. Monsters who really do belong to Husband and I, because 1)They hardly sleep (Husband's trait) and 2) When they are awake they won't shut up (Mine). So if I could do just one thing with my free time, it would be sleep. If you put a gun to my head and said I had to make a whole list, it would turn into another blog post, and you can find it HERE.

How to Tell You Need a Break- This one sounds like it's going to involve listing off qualities of just about every parent in the world. That might take awhile. Or maybe not. We'll see if I ever get a break to actually sit down and write it out.

How to Keep a Bitch-fest From Going Wrong- Now see, at first this one started off with "Maybe I shouldn't be complaining so much about how my kids aren't listening" because then it might start to sound like I don't like my job of mothering my lovely little angels. But then, I saw this post going a different way. Because while Bitch-fests usually start off with one subject, they always lead to dangerous territory-Husbands (or significant others, for those of you still in the dating or not married stages).  Now THAT is a post I am going to write, because nothing grates my cheese more than Husband/SO Bashing. This could be because the man I married is damn near perfect, or it could just be because I hate disrespectful women. What's worse is that other women encourage it or instigate it. Which led me to:

10 Things Not to Say About a Friend's Significant Other

                                   AND

Why Women Don't Make Good Friends.

I don't think I really need to elaborate more on these right now, or I'll ruin the juicy anticipation of posts to come. 

So you see how my brain works? I start off thinking about posts about my children, and then I'm thinking about why women sucks sometimes, and then I'm thinking about my perfect husband, and then I'm thinking "Screw this, I'm gonna go call my man instead of writing all this crazy stuff."