The Sh*t My Kid Says

Continuing with The Sh*t My Kid Says, here are a few more things that Monster S has baffled me with of late.

About getting her sister in trouble for peeing on the floor:

~~"Mommy, L peed on the floor in our room instead of in the potty! Get her, Get HER! Is she gonna get a spankin' cause I told? Yes, I know how to tell on her now, I Am Awesome!"

On helping with her brother:

~~S-"Um, I don't want to give him his paci."

Husband-"Why not, he's your brother! Can't you help out?"

S- "No, he's YOUR baby."

~~"I am not going to throw away his diaper, because L has to throw away her diapers cause it is HER poop. So YOU throw away brother's diapers until he can throw away his own poop."

On playing with her friends:

~~"I can't wait for my friends to come over and play in my room with me. 'Cept it's my room, so I get to tell them what to do."

~~"I get to be the Mommy, and you are the baby, because I said so." (I can not imagine where she gets this bossiness...)

On her sister:

~~"L is touching my stuff, cause she wants to be just like me, but I don't want her to. I want to be me, and I want her to be her."

On the topic of wrestling with Daddy:

~~"Daddy, it's ok if we wrestle when Mommy isn't looking, cause then she won't know."

~~"I can beat you up Daddy, cause I'm stronger than you"

On the topic of cooking lunch:

~~"Well I watched you that one time so I can cook lunch for all of use. Ok, so what do you want? A slice of turkey? And maybe a piece of bread?"

On the topic of how Mommy looks:

~~Me-"Hey baby, does this shirt make Mommy look fat?"

S-"No Mommy, your belly makes you look fat."

   I asked for it...

Until next time!