Get it together....or don't.

It’s the end of the day and all I want to do is curl up with a book in bed and fall asleep without having made it very far into the chapter at all. But currently, at 8:45 pm I am instead sitting at my desk finishing work that I’ve put off far too long, listening to my daughter’s dog yapping at max volume outside, shouting at my two younger children to get in the shower, and trying to figure out how on earth I’m going to keep pushing through. I can’t remember if I ate anything for dinner. I am sure that I picked at the discarded bowls left unfinished by my tiny humans, but I am hungry and emotionally drained, and my brain won’t shut off.

I am so very tired.

I’ve read every tip and trick Pinterest has to offer on time management and organizational skills, things I once thought I had all figured out. I’ve tried every quick and easy dinner recipe for “the family on the go”, and let’s be honest, there are too many ingredients to try and remember. I’ve compared all the different brands of essential oils to find one that has the power to lift brain fog and provide peace and clarity. I’ve tried diets to boost metabolism and create a feeling of refresh instead of the constant state of sluggishness that I can’t seem to shake. I’ve even tried to find the perfect form of (free!) self-care that all the inspiration mom articles keep raving about.

It’s just not possible.

I am just plain and simple juggling too much. The balance of work and home is a never-ending act of spinning plates, with more plates getting added to the mix every day. Sports schedules, project deadlines (for the tiny humans and myself!), school assignments (again, for both!), church and family time. It’s. Just. Not. Possible. I’m scraping by on processed food (not Pinterest worthy bento box packed lunches), and coffee. Work is getting 40%, home is getting 40%, and everything else is just barely making the cut. And tonight, during a study with a group from church, I discovered that I am not alone. The pressures that society has put on mothers to present a perfect made face, looking adorable in a messy bun and yoga pants with a baby carrier strapped to their back while they go for a jog and drink a green smoothie is just not realistic. There is no such thing as the perfect Pinterest mother.  

We are in the trenches TOGETHER, rocking three-day hair and throwing Lunchables in our kids’ backpacks, as we stuff their completely full take home folder back in their bags without checking any of the work that was in it.

 We are muddling through the hardships of work TOGETHER, spilling coffee on our suit blouses in car-rider line while trying to hotspot an internet connection to finalize a quote so our boss doesn’t realize that we are “mom-ing” while working.

We are cooking a healthy dinner one night and ordering Chinese take-out the next because it’s too exhausting to think about cleaning the dishes from the night before.

We are showing up on Sunday mornings to church in our best clothes with a smile on our faces, pretending that we didn’t just fight with our husbands in the car ride there, and we are ALL doing it.  

I've decided I don't care if society knows that I'm basically failing as a wife, mother, manager, and student. It is what it is. I can only do what I can do, and so can you.