It’s the end of the day and all I want to do is curl up with
a book in bed and fall asleep without having made it very far into the chapter
at all. But currently, at 8:45 pm I am instead sitting at my desk finishing work
that I’ve put off far too long, listening to my daughter’s dog yapping at max
volume outside, shouting at my two younger children to get in the shower, and
trying to figure out how on earth I’m going to keep pushing through. I can’t remember
if I ate anything for dinner. I am sure that I picked at the discarded bowls
left unfinished by my tiny humans, but I am hungry and emotionally drained, and
my brain won’t shut off.
I am so very tired.
I’ve read every tip and trick Pinterest has to offer on time
management and organizational skills, things I once thought I had all figured
out. I’ve tried every quick and easy dinner recipe for “the family on the go”, and
let’s be honest, there are too many ingredients to try and remember. I’ve
compared all the different brands of essential oils to find one that has the
power to lift brain fog and provide peace and clarity. I’ve tried diets to
boost metabolism and create a feeling of refresh instead of the constant state
of sluggishness that I can’t seem to shake. I’ve even tried to find the perfect
form of (free!) self-care that all the inspiration mom articles keep raving
about.
It’s just not possible.
I am just plain and simple juggling too much. The balance of
work and home is a never-ending act of spinning plates, with more plates
getting added to the mix every day. Sports schedules, project deadlines (for
the tiny humans and myself!), school assignments (again, for both!), church and
family time. It’s. Just. Not. Possible. I’m scraping by on processed food (not
Pinterest worthy bento box packed lunches), and coffee. Work is getting 40%,
home is getting 40%, and everything else is just barely making the cut. And
tonight, during a study with a group from church, I discovered that I am not
alone. The pressures that society has put on mothers to present a perfect made
face, looking adorable in a messy bun and yoga pants with a baby carrier
strapped to their back while they go for a jog and drink a green smoothie is
just not realistic. There is no such thing as the perfect Pinterest mother.
We are in the trenches TOGETHER, rocking three-day hair and throwing
Lunchables in our kids’ backpacks, as we stuff their completely full take home
folder back in their bags without checking any of the work that was in it.
We are muddling through
the hardships of work TOGETHER, spilling coffee on our suit blouses in car-rider
line while trying to hotspot an internet connection to finalize a quote so our
boss doesn’t realize that we are “mom-ing” while working.
We are cooking a healthy dinner one night and ordering Chinese
take-out the next because it’s too exhausting to think about cleaning the dishes
from the night before.
We are showing up on Sunday mornings to church in our best clothes
with a smile on our faces, pretending that we didn’t just fight with our
husbands in the car ride there, and we are ALL doing it.
