The locker room.

Welcome to yet another blog post inspired by friends inside the computer.

So this morning on the Mommy Board (which really needs a new reference name) there was a thread going about the things we all like and dislike about ourselves. Pretty great thread because it really gets you thinking about your best and worst qualities and admitting to them. Mature, open, and honest. All things that generally end up leading to a thread about food. But I digress.
I had a hard time with this thread. I was able to think of many different things that I don't like about myself, settling in on my short fuse and the longevity of my anger. However, I was unable to think of even one thing that I truly like about myself. The only thing I truly enjoy doing that is "me, myself, and I" is this blog. But to say something like, "I love my ability to talk about an atrocious situation and make it damn funny" well, that just felt like bragging and blog promoting. Which generally I'm all for, but really, conceited much?
So instead, I brought the thought to my blog. The Locker Room syndrome.
You know what I'm talking about. It's 5th period gym class, and everyone is in the locker room changing, and all you can focus on is your fat thighs, ugly bra, and that your tummy isn't quite as flat as the girl's next to you. The panic that someone might see you and notice that you are actually spilling out of that ugly bra, and the fear that someone might notice how skinny your calves look in comparison to those thunder thighs. The insecurity of what you are sure is an intense scrutiny of every single aspect about you.
Here is what is really going on in that locker room. Every person in there is doing exactly what you're doing. Examining themselves in the worst possible light. (Except that chick in the corner. She's judging EVERYBODY. But really, that's just what she does.)

So that's got me thinking. I know what I Do Not like about myself. My temper. My pessimistic outlook on just about every situation. My baby fat. My clothes that don't fit. My impatient moods. My forgetful brain. I am self centered. I overlook the good more often than not. I sometimes swear like a sailor. The list goes on and on and on.
But what do I genuinely like about myself??

I feel like I'm a pretty good writer.
I kick ass at a staring contest.
I have a belly laugh. You know the kind? The kind of laugh that just busts out, loud and forceful.
I'm organized when it comes to money and finances.
I plan things, and I am a list maker.
I can zone out noise to focus on other things.
I am pretty good at Rummy.
I am more mature than most people my age, even if only because of the life I live.
I would die for my children, which really given the world we live in, is a pretty awesome trait.
While I am negative about most situations, I can generally think of the positive side of people and rationalize why they act the way they do. Even when they are acting like spoiled little brat.

I've decided to leave the locker room. It sucks in there. Instead I am going to hang out somewhere where I can focus on what I like about myself. A mediation room perhaps? Or the library. My mental library is pretty peaceful.
Great, now I'm imagining the inside of my head to be set up like my high school. *Le sigh* At least I always loved the library....